DEAR BLANK,

I know that I’ve found you. I know that you’re the one for me and the one that I love. I think of you and I just know that you’re my one perfect thing that no one can ever mess up for me. The greatest, most trusting friend anyone could ever ask for. My only problem is that I love you more than that. One day I feel like you feel one way, and then the next day is the polar opposite.

Even when we aren’t speaking to each other I find myself thinking about you, us, or our future. It hurts to not know whether my feelings are reciprocated or not. It hurts to know that you don’t realize how amazing you are, how beautiful you are, and how much potential you have.

Even if you don’t love me back I understand. I’m nothing special and I get it, because you are beautiful, smart, and I know for a fact that you could do much better than me. I don’t want to hold you back.

If there’s any way you would ever accept my feelings and decide that you wanted to be with me instead of any of the other people you are easily capable of being with, I would be honored.

Love,
Me.

DEAR FUTURE SOMEONE, Oftentimes I find myself thinking of the day when we’ll eventually build our lives together. I think of the little things like staying in bed all day cuddling, cooking together, watching rubbish TV, brushing our teeth together, getting drunk together, and of course falling asleep and waking up next to you every single day. Some say that love is the hardest thing one could ever experience but at the same time it’s something that could change your life for the better. I can’t imagine myself without you in my life. I can’t stand the thought of losing the one thing that keeps me grounded. You’re my anchor; you keep my feet on the ground whenever I feel like I’m floating away. I just want to say thank you, thank you for being so amazing. Thank you for loving me. I love you baby.

WHEN THE ROSES ARE DYING. Consumed with the ifs, the buts, the whens, the whys, the hows… We still hold on to our hopes for beautiful days and we let ourselves feel love. We gladly fall. We try to see just the beauty of it, neglecting the consequences, all the pains, all the hurts. Funny how can we be blinded by our fantasies. We let ourselves suffer, we agitate, we sacrifice, we grieve, we carry our burdens just so love won’t wither and for that tiny feel of heaven promised by love. But not long enough when love just keep springing question after question, and a sane answer to it all just won’t light our hearts up, the broken heart swallows us whole. It’s when all love songs turn to sad melodies. How painful it is to see love fade just as when all the roses are dying?

RELATIVITY.  You can’t trust anybody, even the ones you look like, even your relatives - they make the best enemies. It’s sad that the ones you consider family are the first ones to curse you. The first to say bad things against you. The first who would betray you. The first ones who wanna slay you. They are like predators who would just know how to be good when they want a favor done. When you turn them down, you’re the bad guy. And so we learn to play it hard, to toughen the heart and stiffen the knee, to not let anyone break us, not an enemy, not anyone in disguise. Then you would be cursed for being ridiculous, for being strong. You’d be blamed for being hard and disgusting. They will never know that we are toughened of the way we are treated. That we only have our own-selves to depend to. Nobody cares the way you’ll care for yourself. Sometimes, you need to be selfish. To think about yourself before you think about others. The more you trust, the more you’re in danger. Until all we could do is pray harder, be stronger and be smarter each day. So trust anybody but yourself and God, examine the ones who try to fit in.  -

REALITY CHECK- “Love is a complicated thing. To each person, it has a different meaning. Being in love doesn’t mean that you’re needy. Sure, some people are just plain needy and they allow themselves to lose who they are. This doesn’t appear to be your case since you have to be in control. You can still be you, and be in love. I believe the “needy” part takes on a different form when you don’t give up who you are. For example, if I didn’t have my best friend in my life, I would still be alive. Knowing him and being able to be with him has made my life richer. I don’t need him because I’m needy and my life just can’t go on without him. I need him because knowing him has made my life different and I can’t imagine my life without him in it. If that makes any sense..

If you control life (and relationships), you lose the beautiful part of just enjoying the relationship. You can’t control life and if you continuously try and control relationships, you will find yourself unhappy and wondering why you’re not in a relationship.

I could be way off here, but it doesn’t sound so much like you’re afraid to fall in love.. It sounds more like you’re afraid to fall in love with Mr/Mrs. Wrong or that when you do give your heart, it doesn’t work out and you’re scared of the aftermath and what it will look like.

Love is absolutely worth it and it’s important to let yourself go with the flow and see how things develop in relationships. It’s a funny thing if you think about it.. You say you don’t want to be heartbroken. When you push people away and you don’t allow your heart to blossom, you in essence end up hurting yourself. What’s wrong with having someone care about you and you in turn caring for them? What’s wrong with being happy and allowing yourself to get lost in a moment? You take all those feelings away from yourself.

The reality is this.. When you allow yourself to open up and love, you will encounter heart breaks and your partner will disappoint you. You’ll have moments where you say to yourself “What was I thinking?!” You may cry and feel sad. You will also experience a lot of wonderful and amazing moments that make you smile and happy. I believe in life you need all of these experiences because that is what truly makes you value people and the relationships you have and will have in the future. If you had nothing to take from the past, you would never appreciate what you have in the present.

As far as what you need to do to get over the fear.. I think you need to think about why you feel the way that you do and work on it. For me, I have a fear of falling for someone that isn’t right for me. Honestly, it has happened. I have fallen for guys that were just absolutely wrong for me. I learned though and when I saw those traits pop up in someone else, the red flag went up and we went our separate ways. Maybe you need to not be in a relationship and just focus on you for a bit and when you are ready to finally date or you find someone that blows your mind, you’ll go for it.

I think it’s important for you to know that what you’re feeling is totally normal. Love is scary. It can also be the most amazing ride of your life. It’s like life. Life throws twists and turns at you constantly. It’s about how you overcome them that make the ride worth it. Love is like that.”

You fell in love with your friend but you are afraid to tell him/her because it might ruin your friendship. This is a situation most of us already found ourselves in, and many of us are still struggling to get out of. This is a frustrating dilemma in which the choices are both risky. You want more than friendship but you are not sure if he/she wants the same thing. It is very difficult when you know that one step closer could change everything, and one step back would change everything anyway.  

coz I’m strong enough! :]]

A day with gio! :]

I just miss my camera :[

COLOURS. When I heard all about rainbows, it reminds me about the fancies of childhood. How they tell us stories about golden pots at the end of it and how everyone is puzzled on how to get a piece of that, it’s crazy. They even would say you can’t point your finger on it for the rainbow will melt it. It’s magical they say. The rainbow for me is a symbol of power, of believing about the reward of tomorrow and of the pledge of the future. The rainbow reminds me to not forget about hoping. That there’s a great calm after the storm like they say, and a rainbow that paints the heaven in vivid colors just when it seems tedious and scruffy.